_____
Southerners know their
summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity
_____
Southerners know their
vacation spots:
The
beach
The
rivuh
The
crick
_____
Southerners know
everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah
_____
Southerners know the
movies that speak to their
hearts:
Fried Green
Tomatoes
Driving Miss
Daisy
Steel
Magnolias
Gone With The
Wind
_____
Southerners know
their religions:
Bapdiss
Methdiss
Football
_____
Southerners know
their cities dripping with Southern
charm:
Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat
Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna
_____
Southerners know
their elegant gentlemen:
Men in
uniform
Men in
tuxedos
Rhett
Butler
_____
Southern girls know
their prime real estate:
The
Mall
The Country
Club
The Beauty
Salon
_____
Southern girls know
the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and
nails
Having bad
manners
Cooking bad
food
_____
Only a Southerner
knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that
you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH"
them.
_____
Only a Southerner
knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up
"a mess."
_____
Only a Southerner can
show or point out to you the general direction of
"yonder."
_____
Only a Southerner
knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back
directly."
_____
Even Southern babies
know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular, sweet
substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the
table.
_____
All Southerners know
exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the
concept well.
_____
Only a Southerner
knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got
trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If
the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana
puddin'!
_____
Only Southerners grow
up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They
also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or
20.
_____
Only a Southerner
both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy,
and po' white trash.
_____
No true Southerner
would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going
to make a turn.
_____
A Southerner knows
that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
adverb.
_____
Only Southerners make
friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line,"... we talk to
everybody!
_____
Put 100 Southerners in
a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by
marriage.
_____
In the South, “y'all”
is singular, “all y'all” is
plural.
_____
Southerners know grits
come from corn and how to eat
them.
_____
Every Southerner knows
that tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that
red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; that scrambled eggs just ain’t right
without Tabasco , and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast
food.
_____
When you hear someone
say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a
genuine Southerner!
_____
Only true Southerners
say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for
sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means
you don't want buttermilk.
_____
And a true Southerner
knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the
freeway. You just say,"Bless her sweet little heart"... and go your own
way.
_____
To those of you who
are still a little embarrassed by your Southernness: Take two tent revivals and
a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your little
heart!
_____
And to those of you
who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff....bless
your hearts, I hear they’re fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second
language!
_____
Southern girls know
men may come and go, but friends are fah-evah !There ain't no magazine
named "Northern Living" for good reason. There ain't nobody interested in
livin' up north, nobody would buy the magazine! Now Shugah, send this to someone
who was raised in the South or wish they had a’been! If you're a Northern
transplant, bless your little heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as
you could.
